At Bond Touch we've been in a couple of very traumatic break-ups and Esther’s advice has really helped. Esther Perel is a relationship therapist who has written extensively on the topic of relationships. Somehow she makes you feel powerful in a situation where one can easily feel powerless. Long distance relationships (LDR) also have their challenges that can sometimes render you powerless. We've asked our team to compile the best advice (thank you Esther Perel!) so you can thrive in your LDR.
Embrace the distance
While being apart from your partner can be challenging, view it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Use the time apart to pursue personal interests and hobbies, to deepen friendships and other relationships, and to reflect on your own values and goals and ensure they are aligned with your partner.
In LDR, be intentional about reunions. We can’t stress enough the importance of planning intentional reunions, whether they are short visits or longer trips. Try Bond Touch’s Next Encounter App to help you with this process. Set clear expectations and boundaries for these reunions, and use them as an opportunity to reconnect and strengthen your bond as a couple.
Perel stresses the importance of maintaining intimacy in a relationship, both physical and emotional. This means making time for regular intimacy, whether through sex or other forms of physical touch, as well as being vulnerable and honest with each other about your feelings and desires.
Maintaining intimacy in a long distance relationship can be difficult, but you must make it a priority. This includes not only physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy as well. Be vulnerable with each other, share your fears, hopes, and dreams. Find ways to express affection and desire even when you can't be together in person.
Communication is key to any successful relationship, and Perel emphasizes the importance of communicating openly and honestly with your partner. This means being willing to listen and understand your partner's perspective, even if it differs from your own. It also means being willing to express your own thoughts and feelings, even if they are difficult to share.
Communication is key. Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, and this is especially true for long distance couples. Be intentional about your communication, making time for regular check-ins and conversations that go beyond surface level topics. Use technology to stay connected, whether through Bond Touch or video calls. Don’t be shy in experimenting to bridge that distance.
Maintain a healthy balance of communication. While it's essential to stay in touch, it's crucial not to overdo it. Too much leads to feelings of suffocation, and too little makes your partner feel neglected. Instead, aim for an alternative form of communication by starting the day with a touch and ending the evening with a longer conversation and some more touch.
Perel encourages couples to cultivate curiosity about each other, to be interested in their partner's inner world and to seek to understand their unique experiences and perspectives. This means asking questions, listening actively, and being open to learning and growth.
Get creative with communication. In today's world, technology makes it easier than ever to stay connected. Take advantage of Bond Touch to make your partner feel like they're right there beside you. Schedule regular times to talk.
One of the biggest challenges of long distance relationships is the lack of shared experiences. Find ways to create meaningful experiences together, even if you can't be physically present with each other. Watch the same movie or TV show at the same time, use the Bond Touch bracelet to send touches when you feel an awkward scene coming along.
Be willing to share your fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities with your partner, and be willing to accept and support them in theirs. By embracing vulnerability as much as curiosity, couples can deepen their connection and build a stronger, more resilient relationship. When in a long distance relationship you both are in a vulnerable state. That’s ok. Turn to creative communication to embrace that vulnerability. Be curious about the bond that keeps you connected. Grow curious, even though you are apart.