When we first launched Bond Touch, way back in 2016, the concept of ‘touch bracelets’ was originally conceived to help couples in long distance relationships, stay in touch, in a way that felt more personal and human that a text message. Over the years we’ve received numerous messages from our community of countless unique and heartfelt ways that they use their Bond Touch bracelets - not just in romantic relationships, but also with friends, parents, grandparents, and siblings.
However, one of the most unique heartwarming stories we've come across, is the relationship between intended mothers and surrogate mothers. These next two stories are not connected to each other, but come from two mothers using Bond Touch during surrogacy as a way to share when the baby kicks. Here are their stories….
Why I chose surrogacy
Many people don’t understand how surrogacy works. Many intended mothers (women who want to become mothers) have a traumatic story for why they are pursuing surrogacy. For me, I was pregnant in 2019, but lost my baby at 25 weeks because I developed severe early on set preeclampsia. I was told early births were in my future if I become pregnant again. This is just my story but many other stories include recurring miscarriages, hysterectomies, cancer diagnosis.
Many intended mothers want to be pregnant and feel the baby kick
Therefore during a surrogate pregnancy, intended mothers and fathers have to bond differently. Finding those ways requires creativity - and the bond touch was an amazing addition. We started using Bond Touch at around 22 weeks into the pregnancy when our surrogate could feel our baby kicking. But thinking back on it, she could have used it when she felt flutters.
For me, bonding happens in the mind, not the body and getting those reminders that my baby is kicking in someone else makes me feel closer to him (it’s a boy!!). I just love going about my day and suddenly feel a “kick” on my wrist as I’m stirring my soup on the stove, taking a shower, or during my workout. The kicks happen sporadically just like they would in any normal pregnancy and it makes things feel more “normal”.
This is my second surrogacy journey...
...so by now I’m an expert… I love surrogacy. I know not everyone gets it and some people think it’s all about wealthy people exploiting desperate women but that is not the truth for many surrogacy journeys in the US. Far from it.
To me, surrogacy is all about how a complete stranger commits her body, mind and soul in helping another couple bring a baby into this world. And it’s so beautiful. Jennifer and Lauren (the name of our surrogates) are women of inspiration to me and to those around them. I just love how gestational surrogacy is a new type of relationship that just became possible in the last 35 years or so. And I feel honored to be a part of it!
I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant. We started using Bond Touch about 20 weeks into the pregnancy when I first started feeling the baby move.
As far as baby movements, we don’t have any special codes we utilize. When she moves around a lot I just hold down a long vibe, and when it’s sporadic movements I do a lot of short vibes. It really just depends on each individual movement from the baby.
There are a lot of misconceptions about surrogacy...
...that I think people are stuck in their ways about. I just want surrogacy and infertility to be more understood, and more normalized. There are so many reasons people choose to be a surrogate, and so many reasons people choose to utilize a surrogate. I think the biggest thing is that I just hope people understand that the mother of the baby really wishes to be the one carrying the baby, and going through all the pregnancy “things”. But I’m glad I can at least give her some of the experience by sending touches through the Bond Touch bracelets.
I have learned there are SO many people who struggle with infertility that I never would have even guessed. So many people thank me for what I’m doing because either they have gone through infertility struggles or someone they know has. It’s been a very eye opening, snd incredible journey so far, and I just feel lucky that I’m able to help this couple become parents.