Have you ever wondered if there’s a way to have a committed relationship while maintaining your personal space? Enter "Living Apart Together" (LAT), a relationship style that’s gaining traction among couples who want the best of both worlds—intimacy and independence.
What Exactly Is Living Apart Together?
Living Apart Together is just what it sounds like—you’re in a committed relationship, you see each other often, but you and your partner have your own separate living spaces. It’s a setup that allows for closeness without giving up your personal routines and autonomy, challenging the traditional belief that couples need to live under the same roof to be serious about their relationship.
Why Are More Couples Choosing to Live Apart Together?
LAT relationships are becoming increasingly popular as couples find that living separately offers many advantages. Here’s why some couples are choosing to embrace this lifestyle:
- Personal Space: Maintain your own routines and habits without compromise.
- Fewer Conflicts: Day-to-day irritations that can lead to arguments are minimized when each partner has their own space.
- Quality Time: Time spent together is more intentional and special when you’re not always in the same place.
- Individual Growth: Living apart gives each partner more room for personal development and self-reflection.
A Celebrity Example: Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor
The LAT lifestyle entered the spotlight when actors Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor shared their approach to relationships. In May 2024, Sarah Paulson discussed their living situation on the podcast SmartLess, revealing that the couple, who have been together for over nine years, don’t live in the same home—and have no plans to change that anytime soon.
“We don’t live together, meaning we don’t own a home together, but we’re together more often than we are not,” Sarah explained at the 2024 Emmy Awards. "It’s like we live together, but we don’t live together. I think [people] thought we saw each other once a month or something. It’s not like that.”
Holland Taylor added, “In one home or the other, back and forth. A lot of variety. Variety is the spice [of life].”
Their relationship shows how LAT can work successfully, even for high-profile couples, offering flexibility and balance while maintaining a deep connection.
Is Living Apart Together Becoming More Common?
The trend of Living Apart Together is growing, especially among couples who prioritize both their personal space and their commitment to each other. Research supports the rise of LAT relationships:
- A Pew Research Center study found that 39% of adults aged 50-64 in committed, non-marital relationships are living apart together.
- In the UK, about 4 million adults are in LAT relationships, according to the Office for National Statistics.
- A Canadian study revealed that 9% of coupled adults prefer the LAT lifestyle.
While these statistics highlight a growing trend among older adults, the concept is also gaining traction among younger generations who are seeking more flexibility in their relationships.
Is Living Apart Together Right for You?
Before diving into a LAT arrangement, it’s essential to evaluate if this lifestyle aligns with your relationship needs. Consider these questions:
- Are you and your partner aligned on expectations regarding living separately?
- Can you handle potential misunderstandings from friends and family?
- Are you prepared to actively schedule quality time together?
- Can you maintain emotional closeness despite physical distance? (By the way, Bond Touch bracelets can help with that 😉)
If these questions resonate with you, then Living Apart Together might be a relationship style worth exploring.
The Bottom Line
Living Apart Together offers couples a unique approach that balances commitment with independence. It’s not about loving each other less—it’s about finding a balance that works for both partners. Whether you’re maintaining your personal space, prioritizing personal growth, or simply reducing conflicts from shared living, LAT relationships are a valid, modern solution for many.
At the end of the day, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. Whether you choose to live together, live apart, or somewhere in between, what matters most is that you and your partner are happy, fulfilled, and on the same page.
So, the next time someone asks about your living situation, you can confidently explain that you’re "Living Apart Together"—and loving it!
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